May 22, 2018 Issue #146

How to fight sadness and win

That’s why fighting sadness is a skill we all need to learn. Many people just give in when those gloomy feelings intrude. Before they know it, they’re in a tailspin of misery. Everything about their life seems lousy.

It doesn’t have to be that way. This month’s feature article explores some techniques I’ve used over the past 40 years to stop sadness and chase it away. For most of us, sadness is a recurring problem. There’s no one-time fix.

I do want to warn, right now, that if you suffer from depression, you should discuss that problem with your doctor. These tips are intended for dealing with those occasional bouts of the blues. Constant feelings of sadness or hopelessness indicate a serious problem that may need to be treated with medication and/or therapy. Be wise and seek professional help.

Okay! With that caveat, check out these tips for fighting sadness.

What do I want?

What do I want for today?
I’m controlling my future right now.
I set the tone; it’s me alone.
It’s as simple as making a vow.

So much of what happens is how I respond.
I can grumble or take it in stride.
I can be sad or I can enjoy.
It’s up to me to decide.

My circumstances may not change.
Conditions may not be ideal.
But they’re not in charge of my attitude.
They can’t dictate how I feel.

So what do I want for today?
The answer is plain to see.
I am a fighter and I will prevail.
The decision begins with me.

~ Jack Zavada, 2018 ~

200 pages of honest-to-goodness hope!

That may be what you’re thinking when you see these ads. But this book is as down-to-earth as these newsletters.

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Mysterious Albert Clarke has May’s QOTM

We’ve all heard the comparison of people who see a glass half empty vs. those who see it as half full. It’s good to want things for yourself, but it’s better to be happy with what you already have. Every day I’m grateful I have food to eat, good health, and a place to live. These are the basic necessities of life, yet many people don’t even have that.

Some people are never content with what they have and therefore never happy. With all the commercials and ads being blasted at us every day, we have to resist the urge to try to buy our way to happiness. The gift lift you get from a new purchase is short-lived. Then what do you do? Keep doing something that doesn’t work, or cultivate a sense of gratitude?

Being grateful for what you have makes you feel better. It makes you feel content. It teaches you appreciation, one of the most life-enhancing qualities you can have. So start today, with the small things, and be grateful for them. Before long, you’ll start feeling happier. You’ll see.

Something I never expected…

Like most people, I tried to learn from those blunders and be more careful in the future. Sometimes I even made the same mistake two or three times before I learned my lesson.

I also trained myself to be an observer of people. I developed a priceless skill. I learned from the mistakes of others. I watched people do self-destructive things that caused them a lot of unnecessary pain. "Whoa!" I thought. "I'm gonna avoid that if I possibly can." And so I never drank alcohol, never smoked, never used drugs, and never got deeply in debt. I’m no saint, to be sure, but I learned how to avoid being my own worst enemy.

So what does any of this have to do with you? Simply this: In these newsletters and on www.inspiration-for-singles.com, I talk about my mistakes so you can avoid doing the same dumb things.

I never expected that at some point, my mistakes would become worthwhile lessons for single people all over the world. Now I’m not saying that to brag, but I think the real point is that God can take what seemed bad at the time and turn it into something useful and good, even our mistakes.

Please try to learn from my mistakes. Step back and learn from your own. Especially, learn from the mistakes of friends, relatives, and even celebrities. Pain is a powerful teacher, but we don’t always have to go through it ourselves to learn a valuable lesson. I hope God turns your mistakes turn into blessings some day too!

Christians get it. Others? Not so much

I’d rather be right than successful.

Anyway, since I don’t charge for this monthly gem, I don’t feel embarrassed to occasionally ask you to forward it on to a friend or relative. But please, only send it on to Christians. Nonbelievers just don’t seem to get it.

Speaking of not getting it, many singles are still regularly engaging in self-destructive behavior. But I think you, as a loyal reader of this newsletter, are several cuts above. I credit you with high intelligence (Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this right now, would you?). However, as smart as you and I are, we both sometimes lapse into sadness. Can’t be helped. It’s a part of the human condition and almost unavoidable if you’re single.

My purpose with this issue, though, is to keep you from staying sad. As always, be proactive. Do something to get out of that rut. Remember, if you’re prone to depression, please talk to your doctor about it.

I encourage feedback from the site and from readers like you, but I do have to use a contact form to foil the spambots. It’s accepted web site security practice now. That said, anything sent to me via the form goes directly into my personal email inbox. To vent your spleen, or another organ of your choice, just use our easy contact form.

That’s the May issue, single friend. Thanks for reading. It’s a privilege to send these newsletters your way. Until June, remember to live large, because God is in charge!

Jack Zavada