May 14, 2019 Issue #158

Don't fit in? Here's why

Yes, it's true that singles are treated like aliens too, especially in the Church. They just don't know what to do with us, do they? How sad to think that the most important people in the Bible, like Elijah, Jesus, John the Baptist, Paul and John were single too. What would the modern church do with them?

Friend, if you've ever wondered why you're not like the people around you, this month's feature article explains why you don't fit in.

I'm different

I don't have blue hair
or tattoos here and there.
I'm different.

I don't drink or smoke
Or tell a crude joke.
I'm different.

Different is fine unless
it's different like me.
I'm not the kind of different
They want me to be.

I make them feel tense
And raise their defense.
I'm different.

I'm different for God
And won't be controlled.
My vision is focused
On the home of my soul.

I'm just a pilgrim passing through,
Heaven's my country.
How about you?
Are you different?

~ Jack Zavada, 2019, www.inspiration-for-singles.com ~

When you wake up in the morning, do you feel like jumping out of bed to start a new adventure?

Hope for Hurting Singles can change that. This is not one of those sappy self-help books that's as nourishing as cotton candy. No, this guide to the single life digs deep into the aggravations that steal your joy and offers real, proven solutions.

Proven? Darn right! Author Jack Zavada took his 40 years of trial-and-error and converted those lessons into an action plan for true, lasting change.

Hope for Hurting Singles shows you how to fix your faulty thinking and replace it with clear-eyed truth. This stuff isn't for wimps! It's for singles who are serious about breaking free from negative patterns and reaching for a bigger, happier life.

Is that you? You can find out by reading the entire first chapter, free, RIGHT HERE.

Hope for Hurting Singles is only $10.99 at amazon.com. Put on your grown-up pants and order your copy today!

May QOTM explains what's really happening

You don't hear the terms "worldliness" or "worldly" in the secular media, but you'll find "world" and "worldly" in the Bible. They mean preoccupation with the values of this world instead of the values of the kingdom of God.

When you compare what this world considers important — wealth, unrestrained se'x, power, fame —with what Jesus considers important — love, compassion, honesty, generosity, humility —it's easy to see why things are upside down here. Money is made by catering to all kinds of lusts, and money is the god of this world.

Righteousness, the kind that comes from God through obeying his commandments, is abnormal in this world. Be different. Follow the narrow way. There are no traffic jams on the road to God.

Gosh, don't do this dumb thing I did for years

I would feel even dumber about this mistake except that millions of people do it every day, and some for longer than I did. They think they can tell God what to do. Not only that, but they give him commands on exactly how and when to carry out their orders.

My demand, of course, was that God should provide me with a wife. I gave him my list of physical and personality requirements and told him to get to it. When nothing was happening, I ripped him like I would a lowly employee, blasting him for goofing off and not getting busy on my behalf. In retrospect, it sounds absolutely idiotic, but when I was praying with an arrogant, complaining spirit, I thought I had every right as an adopted child to tell my heavenly Father precisely what to do.

Spoiled brat was closer to the truth.

Over the years, I dated some women who would have made wonderful spouses, but for whatever reasons, those relationships didn't work out that way. Even at my ripe old age now, I don't understand, any more than you understand your singleness.

Where is this heading? Well, thanks to my pride, my prayers were deserving of a divine spanking instead of a fulfilling answer. I want you to pray out of humility. Please ask God. Don't demand, even when nothing seems to be happening.

Ask Him to open your eyes to opportunities you may be overlooking. Ask him for courage and wisdom on your quest. Remember, as I pointed out in the April Inspire-O-Gram article on Easter, everything is going to be all right, no matter how your life turns out here. Believers do get their dreams fulfilled in heaven.

If you're frustrated in prayer right now, here are, I hope, some helpful ideas I wrote down on why you can't win when you try to manipulate God.

A single's smart alternatives to self-medicating

Thousands of confused people are self-medicating their troubles today, using everything from beer to heroin. Maybe they think addiction can't happen to them, or maybe they're so down they just don't care any more.

I know I nag you that every action has consequences, but I do it because I want you to avoid self-destructive behavior. Think ahead. Imagine where your actions can lead. Never say "It can't happen to me." Every alcoholic and junkie once said that. Depression is something you should talk with your doctor about. Practical antidotes to worry include preparing for different contingencies and trusting God. It's tough but it works.

Instead of binge-watching TV or overeating ice cream, try reading something challenging (and uplifting). Find a hobby that fascinates you, like the guy in the photo over there. Learn to play a musical instrument. Take a college course on your computer or on DVD through The Great Courses.

Do something constructive, single friend. Make yourself smarter, more well-rounded, more interesting as a person. If you can meet eligible singles in the process, double bonus!

Finally, read this short article on how to be kind to yourself. That's some of the best medication you can find.

Want to email me? It's easy. Use the secure contact form.

Seconds after you click "Submit," it will appear in my personal inbox. Then I'll read it, think about it, and write you back.

Until June, I'll be working on the next Inspire-O-Gram. I hope you enjoyed this one and found something you'd like to share with a single friend.

Jack Zavada