The advantages of being single: Appreciate what's good about your life

The advantages of being single are something we rarely think about.

In fact, this article might make you very angry because you believe the single life is miserable, with no advantages at all. But please keep reading. Try to keep an open mind as we look at some opportunities you have not considered.

I think you'll agree with this immediately: Facing the truth that you're single, if you can be happier by looking at your situation from a different perspective, it's worth a try.

You have more time

One of the advantages of being single is having more time to do what you want. Instead of seeing it as time you have to fill, look at it as freedom.

When you're single, you can take night classes or further your education without worrying about neglecting your spouse. More education can mean a better job or more money.

Sometimes you just want to attend a workshop or seminar or enroll in an evening class for your own pleasure. Learning broadens your outlook and also puts you in touch with interesting people—maybe even a prospective spouse. It's safer and smarter than the bar scene, eh?

Extra time also lets you pursue your hobby as much as you'd like. You can work on crafts or collections at home, do research in a library, go to a hobby club or meet with others who have the same interest. Hobbies are a super way to relieve stress. They occupy your mind in a positive way.

Finally, you have time for reading, one of the greatest pleasures in life. If you were married, your spouse might take a dim view of your reading. Now you can do it without someone across the room giving you the old stink-eye.

You can enjoy your friends guilt-free

Another of the advantages of being single is our friends. They help get us through hard times, support us emotionally, and just plain make life more fun.

The trouble is, many single people abandon their friends when they get married. Now it's true that your spouse should be your best friend, but it's cruel to give up on your friends altogether. If you get married, yes, your status has changed. You're no longer single and no longer "one of us," but your spouse shouldn't be jealous of your friends, either.

We single people can enjoy our friends and don't have to worry about such conflicts.

Everyone needs time with friends of their same gender. Women need time with the girls and men need time with the boys. Our friends of our gender understand us in ways a spouse never can. There's a "sisterhood" or "brotherhood" we need. Appreciating that and enjoying it is one of the advantages of being single.

When you get married, you'll make friends with married couples, but don't abandon your single friends of the same gender. They make life richer, and besides, it's just fun to hang out with them.

Advantages of being single: Money

Yet another of the advantages of being single is being able to spend money the way you want. One of the commonest causes of arguments in marriage is how money should be spent.

Now anyone who has read many pages on this site or who receives my monthly Inspire-O-Gram newsletter knows I advise singles to be careful with their money. We can't buy our way to happiness and we can't solve our problems with gift lift.

Be that as it may, married people absolutely have to agree on how they're going to handle money. I know of one couple who divorced largely because she was a saver and he was a spender. When you're single, you don't have that problem.

I'm firmly against credit card debt. It turns you into a slave. But on the other hand, it kills the fun in life if you live like a miser. Right now, you have the advantage of not having anyone nag you about money. Except maybe me.

Set something aside for an emergency. Plan for your retirement. Be wise when it comes to finances. But appreciate the fact that no one jumps you for every purchase, nor does anyone whine when you save.

This is a rare privilege we singles have, not to be underestimated.

You can spend more time with God

Of all the advantages of being single, this is the one I love most. I don't have to divide my time between a spouse and God. I can give God as much time as I want.

My #1 goal in life is an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. I'm able to speak and listen to him more often because I'm single.

Only a Christian spouse can understand that need, and even so, conflicts will come up. We singles don't have to deal with that. We can give Jesus our undivided attention.

During the course of a normal week, I go to church on the weekend, read the Bible every morning while I eat breakfast, read a book on Christian living, watch some Christian TV, and work on this Christian web site. Oh, and I pray throughout the day and evening.

That's a lot of Jesus!

I don't know about you, but I can't get enough of him. He loves me and I love him and we love spending time together.

If you want to get closer to God, you can do this as a single person and you don't have to make excuses or explain yourself to anyone. You just do it. You have your priorities straight in life and let me guarantee you, you'll find tremendous fulfillment in it.

You may find this hard to understand or even fanatical if you're not a Christian. You may be among the thousands of singles who visit this site who practice no religion or are not Christian. Based on our holy book, The Bible, here's a very short summary of what Christians believe.

If you are a Christian single, thank God for this extra time he gives you with him. It's a tremendous gift!

A final thought...

Despite all the advantages of being single, I'd rather be married. That's the honest truth.

Maybe, like me, you've heard sermons preached on "the gift of singleness." They make me angry. They're usually preached by a married pastor who's forgotten how hard it is to be single.

And yet, as much as I'd like to be married, my life is not bad. It's good. Sometimes I'm lonely. Sometimes I feel depressed. I even get angry sometimes because I haven't found a wife. But I also am thankful for these advantages of being single.

I hope you'll give these benefits some thought and approach your life from a new perspective. Being single is not a wrong way to live. It's just a different way from being married.

When you go to bed tonight, thank God that he loves you. Tell him you love him too.

Tomorrow morning, instead of focusing on your limitations, look at the opportunities you have as a single person. See your glass as half full instead of half empty.

Your attitude has so much to do with your happiness. Practice being positive and grateful for the good things you do have. When I started doing that, it made a wonderful difference. The same thing will happen for you.  

How to regain hope in your life

Oy, this single life! It can really beat you up.

That's why Hope for Hurting Singles is just what you need if you're feeling down. This handbook to the single life will give you practical, proven strategies for dealing with your toughest problems.

That's because author Jack Zavada lays out lessons he learned in his 50 years in the single life. Don't go through painful trial-and-error yourself when he's already done it for you!

You'll get solid, Bible-based advice on such topics as:

Loneliness
Rejection
Depression
Shyness
Low self-esteem
Fear
Bitterness

Stop trying to figure it out yourself! Get Hope for Hurting Singles and light bulbs of understanding will go on. You'll see things from a new perspective and get the tools to build real, positive hope for the years ahead.

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