Being a control freak forces you to live an upsetting life
Is being a control freak the answer to the unexpected twists and turns of life?
We singles may believe that if only we can dictate our schedule, our goals, and our environment, we can be successful. It's a noble desire but completely divorced from reality.
At best, we can govern some things some of the time. To command everything affecting you is fantasy, especially in our fast-changing world.
And if you're a Christian, you're bound to run into life's greatest conflict: Who is in charge: God or me?
Let's look at a more rewarding way to live.
Neither pawns nor gods
When it comes to being a control freak, we may think we're pawns—and everything is out of our control—or we're gods—and everything is under our control.
The truth is somewhere in the middle. As human beings with free will and the power of action, we can affect much of the situation around us. The key is planning. Here's a truth to remember:
Little planning = much drama; much planning = little drama.
Do you know people who have too much drama in their life? It seems as if they lurch from one crisis to another. We can actually reduce the drama by strategic planning. That includes such steps as:
- Securing insurance where needed;
- Taking care of your health;
- Eliminating potentially destructive activities;
- Obeying the law;
- Establishing an emergency fund.
Did you notice something about this list? It requires responsibility. It also eliminates most of the self-sabotage a large part of the population indulges in.
For example, people who complain when their license is revoked for drunk driving have no one to blame but themselves. It's a stupid, dangerous stunt. And, it violates #4 on the list.
Did you know that the last item, establishing an emergency fund, can give you a surprising amount of control in your life? The problem is that it requires sacrifice and thinking ahead. Go here to learn why this is a secret of geniuses.
Being a control freak: Can you really be perfect?
Typically, the higher your self-esteem, the less chance of your being a control freak. Yes, mistakes reflect on us. Yes, people judge us by our performance. But we are fallible human beings, not machines.
I worked for a perfectionist once. She seemed to delight in being superior to her mistake-infected employees. But nobody liked her, even her snitches.
You won't endear yourself to others by pointing out their shortcomings and being a know-it-all. Be realistic. Most people aren't evil and they aren't out to sabotage you if they make occasional mistakes.
Being a control freak is a losing battle. Something unplanned always pops up. I believe we should always give our job our best, but we simply cannot control every aspect of success. If we could, there would be a lot more successful people and businesses.
Whether in your personal life or career, you will also limit yourself if you have an intense fear of failure. A certain amount of risk is necessary to reach goals. What's important to remember is what you will do if you fail. Always have a "Plan B."
Just as too much risk is bad, so is too much timidity. We all know people who never got very far because they were too cautious.
God is what?
One of the hardest Bible truths to accept is that God is sovereign. What exactly does that mean?
The Bible teaches God is in control. He is the Ruler of the Universe. Nothing ever takes him by surprise and nothing ever ruins his plans. Long before he created the Universe, God knew man would sin and he made plans for a Savior. That Savior is Jesus Christ.
We may question God's sovereignty when we observe evil in the world. We ask, "If God is in control, why doesn't he step in and stop this?" Many episodes in the Bible do show him intervening in human affairs.
Today we see illness, poverty, war, greed, injustice, bigotry, and a dozen other evils going unchecked. Where is God? Has he stopped intervening?
No. God works through people to stop evil, as he did in WW II. God uses scientists to give us things like vaccines and cancer treatments. I have benefited from both.
God allows everyone to sin, but some day he will say "Enough!" and Jesus Christ will return in judgment. Until then, we have to trust God and remember he does know what he is doing.
If being a control freak is something you struggle with, trusting God will be difficult for you. I think it's hard for all of us.
Instead of controlling our situation, however, I think God wants to help us become like his calm, unruffled Son, Jesus. The Holy Spirit works sanctification in our lives to do just that.
Remember, your goal is not to control everything; your goal is to control yourself when other things go out of control.
That is a realistic goal God will help you achieve.
