The Law of Focus can help single people lead more fulfilling lives

The Law of Focus can help single people have a happier, more productive life. By concentrating on what matters and disregarding distractions, you can get more of what you want and less of what you don't want.

Don't confuse this with the Law of Attraction, a New Age farce that claims the Universe owes you a living. Baloney! The Universe is a place, not a power. It has no ability to drop goodies on you like a fairy godmother.

Your time is limited. So is your energy. When you dissipate them on pointless efforts, you're wasting the currency of life.

The Law of Focus filters out noise

On my bathroom wall is a little sign I made. I put it there so I see it every morning when I shave. It says: "Focus on what really matters."

Like you, I need reminders. It's easy to get off track. So many things compete for our attention during the day that we can chase after nonsense, and before we know it, we've gotten upset and wasted time.

Here's a simple statement of The Law of Focus:

What you focus your attention on will determine how contented you are.

It's common sense. When you focus on goals and legitimate desires, you have something positive to work toward, a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

But most of us don't do that, do we? Instead, we focus on worries, fears, doubts, and all those mental termites that gnaw away at our faith. Whether it's the whispers of Satan or the subtle fear-mongering of TV commercials and the news, we let our mind travel down paths where it shouldn't go.

When you focus on the right things, it filters out that noise. You have to catch yourself as soon as you get distracted. That takes attention and willpower, but with practice you can do it. Sometimes you even have to say to yourself, "Don't go there." That works because it breaks your chain of thought and allows you to change direction.

Three areas that demand focus

Three areas benefit from The Law of Focus: your emotional life, your personal life, and your spiritual life. Let's look at each one.

Your emotional life:

As I often say, feelings are not facts. They can't always be believed. Usually they're not reliable as indicators of what's going on. We don't want to turn into emotionless Vulcans, like Mr. Spock, but it's even more dangerous to be impulsive and react to every feeling that goes through your mind.

Practice putting the brakes on destructive emotions, like fear, doubt, and worry. Instead, concentrate on constructive emotions like confidence, optimism, and hope.

When you focus on positive feelings, you build a sense of competence. You understand you can cope. You realize you can handle life. The impression of being overwhelmed fades. You were capable in the past; you can be capable in the future too.

The same goes with depression, a major problem for singles. I don't believe we can ever be rid of it once and for all, but I do believe we can manage it successfully. When it starts to come on you, don't focus on how bad you feel. Turn your focus onto some activity you enjoy, something that makes you feel fulfilled, whether it's a hobby, sports, or just planning for your future. Occupy your mind with something rewarding.

God gave us emotions and they are good--except when we use them to beat ourselves up. The Law of Focus can keep you off that dangerous detour and onto the road of truth about yourself.

Your personal life:

By personal, I'm referring here to your relationships with other people, your health, and the "business" aspects of life all singles are forced to deal with.

All people spend a lot of time worrying about what others think of them. We have an innate desire to be liked. The truth, however, is that we can be as considerate of others as we know how, but everybody's not going to like us. You're old enough to realize by now that you can't force somebody to love you. It doesn't work.

Of course that doesn't give us a license to bulldoze our way through life, uncaring about the feelings of others. The Bible gives us the best code of conduct imaginable. More on that later.

Your health can also give you problems that can become unbearable. Fortunately, by focusing on a healthy lifestyle, you can prevent a lot of trouble. 

Don't be self-destructive! If you use tobacco, abuse alcohol or drugs or food, you will pay for it later. Focus on your future. If you wouldn't pour poisons into your drinking water, why would you pour them into your body?

This article gives you some easy-to-do tips on how to prevent a world of suffering. Focus on these simple steps and you'll pat yourself on the back later for being such a genius.

Your spiritual life:

You can avoid a trainload of misery in life by stubbornly trusting God. I wish I had learned that when I was 18. You see, every catastrophe I thought was going to finish me didn't. Through the grace of God I got through them. But I could have saved myself a lot of agonizing by focusing on God's love for me in the first place.

If you're a Christian, you'll either get through a crisis or you'll go to heaven, and believe it or not, that second option is better than the first. You can stake your eternal life on that truth.

Concentrate on what you know to be true about God rather than what the world tells you. Remind yourself daily of his love for you. Remember your salvation is a done deal. Know the Holy Spirit is your personal adviser and protector. Keep in mind Jesus answers your prayers in a way that's best for you.

Your strongest source of spiritual encouragement is the Bible. It's a treasure house of God's promises. Get yourself a copy of the Life Application Study Bible, the most practical Bible I've found. Carve out a few minutes to read it every day. Memorize short verses so you can call them to mind when trouble hits.

The more you focus on Jesus, the more intimate your friendship with him will become. You can't get through this single life alone. Use the Law of Focus. Receive the gifts God has for you and you'll be a more fulfilled, happier person.

Return to the top of The Law of Focus