A life makeover will only work under one condition

Is a life makeover possible?

Sometimes the nuisances of the single life, large and small, can pile up to the point that you feel there's nothing to feel good about. You're in such a deep rut you don't think you'll ever get out.

I'm not much on "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" kind of fixes. But I do believe your attitude can make a world of difference.

This kind of radical, deep-down change is possible but there is one major condition. Read on...

Life makeover: Here's the condition

Here's the condition. Internal, meaningful change is possible, but only if you ask God to do it.

You can believe me now, or you can waste years of your own life learning for yourself. Look, I gain nothing from lying to you. The advantage of a site like this is that you learn from my mistakes so you don't have to go through it yourself.

I have read hundreds of self-help books, and while many are worthwhile, the type of internal life makeover you're looking for takes a complete re-creation of yourself. The only one qualified to do that, and to make changes that last, is the one who created you in the first place: God.

We all want to run our own life. We want to be in control, not taking orders from anybody. Singles, especially, value their independence, so we can be pretty hard-headed when it comes to letting someone else call the shots.

If you don't believe in God and are opposed to Christianity, well, I guess my response would be:

'Bye! Come back when you change your mind.

You still have to make decisions

Don't be mistaken. God is not going to turn you into a zombie who walks around spouting Bible verses and has to run to him for every question in life.

God wants you to be dependent on him, but he also gave you intelligence so you can make simple decisions on your own.

I prayed before the big choices in my life, like whether I should take a certain job, whether I should buy a certain house, or whether a person would (or would not) make a good spouse. I believe God gives us guidance in those things, but let's be adults and trust that God will work things out if we inadventently mess up.

As you read the Bible and ask God to reveal himself to you, you'll get a solid sense of what he expects. You'll be familiar enough with his principles to make wise decisions with confidence. You'll use your God-given intellect to understand what the right thing is and how to do it.

Instead of being panicky, you'll live with faith that God is watching out for you as one of his beloved children.

The simple starting place

Your life makeover begins step by step. Everything won't change for the better at once, but when you begin to understand what matters and what doesn't, it will be like a veil was pulled off your eyes.

You'll find God's basic guidelines in Luke 10:27-28:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, love your neighbor as yourself." (NIV)

This sounds like a tall order, but at least it's clear. Hey, you already know what hasn't worked, right?

Here are some simple principles:

Go about your life makeover gradually.
Start with the understanding that God alone has the power to bring you real, deep-down happiness. When you make him the top priority in your life, he will gradually put everything else in its proper perspective.

Then give a hard, critical look to the promise of materialism.
If you're honest, you'll be shaken by what you see. You'll recognize the empty promises of advertising and the world.

Build relationships that are mutually positive.
Sometimes you give too much, but sometimes you take too much, too. Have you been greedy? Too self-centered? Stingy with your love? Love given tends to come back in love received. Remember the command to love your neighbor (and that includes everybody) as yourself. Don't be a user, but don't let yourself become a doormat, either.

Ask God to do what you haven't been able to do yourself.
This is where your loving, heavenly Father does the hard work. When you give him your battered, beat-up character and ask him to transform it into the amazing character of his son Jesus, get ready for major changes in your life--for the better. Don't fight them. If you're honest, who would you rather be like, your old self, or Jesus?

Prepare for opposition

Your life makeover will take prayer, perseverance and patience. But once you get on this pathway, you'll know, without a doubt, that you're going in the right direction.

It's normal to experience turmoil while you're going through this process. Part of it is your ego trying to wrench control away from God. Some of it may actually be Satan, doing what he can to interfere in this process. He is a deceiver and manipulator. The best way to fight him is to read the Bible and ask the Holy Spirit to defend you.

Remember this point. You will not lose your "self" in this task. You will not give up your personality and become somebody else. God wants you to live up to your potential with the gifts he has given you. As he does this life makeover on you, he will whittle away the bad and build up the good in your character. His goal is to conform you to the character of Christ.

When you surrender to God's will for your life, exciting things are in store!

Reminder from Jack: Sometimes treatment by a health care professional is needed, such as a medical doctor, psychologist or therapist. I always advocate for professional care when necessary. Many problems have an underlying physical cause. See your doctor if you have medical or psychological problems.

Here's a step-by-step makeover plan!

Single & Sure, Jack's ebook, cuts through the fog and shows you what's worth chasing--and what's not.

It's a clear, step-by-step approach to winning over loneliness, beating depression, overcoming shyness and low-self-esteem. This is real world help, based on Jack's nearly 40 years' experience as a single person.

Why stumble through life on trial and error? Learn from somebody who already did, and save yourself a world of time and trouble.

Check out the benefits of being Single & Sure...