You--yes you--are precious to God

Do you know you're precious to God? It's true. Absolutely true.

Most of us don't feel that way. In fact, many singles don't feel they're precious to anybody. If you believe you have value only when you're in a relationship, you can beat yourself up and feel worthless.

We rely so much on our feelings. Emotions are a wonderful, God-given thing and serve us well. We'd be like robots without them. Sometimes, though, they exercise too much control in our lives. It's possible to trust them too much.

Throughout this web site I emphasize that feelings are not facts. Nowhere is that more important to remember than in our relationship with God.

No spouse, no love?

For many years, I believed God didn't love me because he did not help me find a mate. You may think that sounds childish, but thousands, maybe millions of singles think that too. Often we base our idea of love on how we believe someone should treat us.

We've all observed the sad scene of a small child screaming at his or her parents, "I hate you! I hate you!" If you're a single parent, maybe you've even been on the receiving end of such a tantrum. As adults, we know what brings on an outburst like that. The child didn't get their own way.

When we're the one talking to God like that, it's hard to put ourselves in the place of that frustrated child. In our prayers, we may say something similar to God because he doesn't provide a spouse. But God, like the parent of that small child, knows better than to give us everything we want.

There's something important in Jesus telling us to call God "Father." It clarifies our relationship with him. When we compare our own wisdom to his, we are indeed like a child talking to a mature adult.

Precious to God on his terms

It's precisely because we are precious to God that he sometimes withholds things from us.

Now before you fire off a nasty email to me, I know how you feel. Being married is a good thing. Why would God possibly deny that to children he loves?

And the answer is: I don't know.

I've been trying to figure it out in my own life for years. I can't make sense of it. At some point, years ago, I finally stopped trying and just trusted that God knows what's best for me.

To be honest, I'd rather be married, but I'm not. Some of us eventually learn, however, that we have messed up our lives so badly so many times that we'll turn control over to God and see what happens. For me, it wasn't a matter of giving up or giving in. It was a case of finally becoming spiritually mature enough to totally trust God. When you do that, marriage may come, or it may not.

That doesn't remove the responsibility for being assertive from us, but it does put the responsibility for guidance and protection upon God.

If you can accept the truth that you are precious to God, it's easier to trust him with your life. You know, instinctively, that God is going to take very good care of something that is precious to him. No matter what happens--even death--he is not going to loosen his grip on you.

What it means to be precious to God

Contrary to what you may think, it's very liberating to know you're precious to God. Not only are you sure he's going to take good care of you, but it frees you of the pressure of trying to impress him. He's already impressed with you, so much that he loves you more than you love yourself.

The irrefutable proof that you're precious to God lies in the sacrifice of his only Son, Jesus, on the cross. Without that act, you and I would justifiably be condemned to hell. Instead, we will enjoy eternal life with God in heaven.

This undeserved gift is through grace, which means there's nothing we can do to earn it. And, it's motivated by love. We can't fix our sins by praying. We can't fix them by reincarnating a thousand times. The only way to salvation is through Jesus.

Basking in God's immense love is a true source of self-esteem. Also, when you stop striving, you achieve peace of mind.

God wants you to understand how much he loves you. Believe his Word, the Bible, and not your feelings. If life isn't working out the way you want right now, know that God loves you, strongly and steadily, whether he says "no", "wait", or "yes" to your prayers.

Love God back, even though you can't always understand him. Keep asking him for a spouse, if that's what you want.

Don't give up, and no matter what happens, be sure of one thing: You really are precious to God.

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