If you're on the wrong road, here's how to tell--and how to find your way back
We singles can get off onto the wrong road very easily. With all the voices shouting at us in today's world, we can step off the path we should be traveling onto a detour that can take us into dangerous territory.
Promiscuity, drugs, and alcohol are some of the highways singles take today when they can't get what they want. As you read this, you're probably thinking, "That hasn't happened to me. This article doesn't apply to me."
But there are other back alleys we can wander down, more subtle, less personally destructive, yet still off the track from where God wants you to go.
The wrong road of the world
When we graduate from high school or college, we're eager to get out on our own, earn some money, and make a success of our life. We're told that if we achieve great things and buy the right products, everyone will admire us and we'll be oh-so-proud of ourselves.
It works for a while. We climb the ladder of success, have some accomplishments in our chosen field, get a nice place to live and nice car, and we feel pretty good. That's natural and there's nothing wrong with that. It's an admirable thing to be conscientious about your work and be an asset to your employer.
The wrong road--the one we can easily turn onto--is making our career our life and crowding God into second or third place, or even forgetting him altogether. If we're not careful, we can start to think that our success is solely due to our own effort. We can forget that God put us in our job in the first place and that everything we are and have we owe to him.
In short, we think we're pretty hot stuff and we stop being humble. The Bible says that kind of thinking can lead to a fall:
The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished. (Proverbs 16:5, NIV)
Here are some warning signs:
- You stop going to church.
- You compromise in your job to get ahead.
- You let compliments, awards, and promotions go to your head.
- Money is the motivating factor in your life.
- You seek fulfillment through your career instead of from God.
The wrong road of party time
Millions of singles in their 20s and 30s think life should be one big party. They live for fun. They think of nothing more than hanging out with their friends and having a good time.
Magazine ads and TV commercials would make us think this is the purpose of life. Of course, they're selling beer, soft drinks, snacks, and restaurants, which are indispensable to having a good time. Ha!
Now I'm not a spoilsport or a hermit. I have friends. I go to parties. If you'll read the gospels carefully, you'll find that Jesus liked to eat and go to parties, too. But that wasn't his life.
The problem with "party time all the time" and fun as your god is it's a shallow life. It doesn't get much done and it doesn't grow you as a person.
For singles, parties can help us forget our troubles and disappointments, but we all know what happened to the Roman Empire when party time took priority. The culture started circling the drain and eventually got sucked down!
Hanging out with friends is fine in moderation, but it's important to lead a balanced life, with time to pray and worship God, time for family, time to read worthwhile books, and time to do some constructive project.
The wrong road of bitterness
The wrong road of a bad attitude may be the most subtle and destructive of all, because it creeps in gradually, works its tentacles through your thoughts, and soon it colors your entire outlook on life.
We don't talk about Satan much here, but I suspect one of his favorite tactics is to sour singles on life so we think the world's out to get us and that we're a bad luck person.
I'm ashamed to admit that I slipped into this trap for several years. I wanted to be married, wasn't, and it made me angry at myself, life, and God.
Don't make that same mistake I made, single friends!
Do whatever it takes to find the off-ramp from the Bitterness Road. Talk to a pastor or counselor, trusted friend or relative. Do an attitude adjustment. Stop and catch yourself before it becomes a habit you can't break.
Nobody wants to be around a miserable person. It will drive away a potential spouse. It's the road to loneliness and depression. I know. I traveled it too long. You don't want to go there.
Getting on the right road again
This web site is about getting on the right road as a single and how to stay there. I hope you haven't gotten the impression that it's about me. It's not. It's about Jesus Christ.
If he offends you, well, I promised when I started this site that I'd tell you only the truth. Jesus pulled me up, put me on the right road, and he keeps me there. I can't do it on my own. I'm a foul-up. It was only when I understood that I couldn't get off the wrong road and live the Christian life without God's help that I started to get straightened out.
Every time I mention Jesus, I know I lose visitors. But I also know that there may be just one person who takes this to heart, goes to Christ, and lets him turn their life around.
Jesus called himself the way. He's the right road. He'll take you where you really want to go.
